


the way that he kisses you

by vmon_89



Series: Untitled Yoonseok SM AU Companions [1]
Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Anxiety, Cheating, Consensual Underage Sex, Drunk Kissing, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Abuse, No like actual details, Snapshots, Underage Drinking, breaking up, but hoseok was drinking so, but like with consent, like just a small scene of it and no details
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 15:44:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13744140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vmon_89/pseuds/vmon_89
Summary: Hoseok was fifteen and Mark was sixteen when they met. Things went both very good and very bad from that point on. For six years, to be exact.





	the way that he kisses you

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is really a companion piece to my [Yoonseok SM AU](https://seoksyubae.tumblr.com/tagged/yoonseok1) that can be found on tumblr if you click the link. You don't have to read that to follow this, really. It's very choppy and broke and just little bits of information and scenes depicting moments in Hoseok's relationship with Mark. It might not flow very well or be very coherent but yunno, neither is Hoseok's thoughts and feelings about any of it. Anyway, please be mindful of the tags. There's nothing really graphic or overly detailed here, but still stuff to consider before reading. Mark really isn't a good guy here, and I'm sorry. ILY Mark forgive me.

When Hoseok met Mark, there was an instant attraction. Mark was a year older, charming with the most friendly smile. He was the first person to befriend Hoseok when he transferred to the school that they shared. Hoseok was fifteen and Mark was sixteen. Mark showed Hoseok around the school, and after that the two of them practically became inseparable. At the time, Hoseok's only other friends were in another city; he had left Seokjin and Namjoon behind when he had been forced to move. He missed them something terrible and he kept in contact with them as much as he could despite busy schedules. Seokjin was glad that Hoseok had found a friend. Though a late night conversation of whispered words and Hoseok admitting that he thought Mark was _so handsome, and his smile hyung_ had Seokjin mumbling, “Be careful, Hoseok.”

 

Hoseok was fifteen and Mark was sixteen when they kissed for the first time. It was at a party, in a dark corner. Hoseok was giggly and smiling and flushed in the face from the alcohol he'd been given. “You're such a lightweight,” Mark laughed. It wasn't a mean laugh or anything, just amused. Hoseok looked cute as he leaned back against the wall and tilted his head to the side slightly.

 

“I've never drank alcohol before,” admitted Hoseok, shrugging his shoulders slightly only to smile again as Mark took the cup away from him, setting it on a nearby table.

 

“Maybe that's enough of that, then.” Mark's smile was fond, warm, and Hoseok just wanted to watch him smile forever, really. He did not even realize he'd said that last thought out loud, making Mark chuckle a little as he looked down for a couple of seconds before looking back to Hoseok. “You're really cute, Hoseok.” Hoseok's face got – if possible – even more red and he lifted his hands to cover his face with a whine of embarrassment. Mark gently grabbed his wrists, thumb brushing against the side of Hoseok's arm with one hand. He carefully lowered Hoseok's hands, bending at his knees a little to attempt to catch Hoseok's gaze with a smile. “I'm going to kiss you. Is that okay?”

 

“Y-yeah. Yeah, that's okay.” Hoseok's voice was not shaking and he would deny it forever. But Mark didn't seem to mind. He just smiled and leaned in enough to press his lips against Hoseok's. It was not a kiss that Hoseok would remember much of later down the line; it was not spectacular or memorable except for the fact that it was their first kiss. It was not, for the record, Hoseok's first kiss ever, but the first one he had with Mark. Come morning, though, Hoseok could barely remember it from the blur of the alcohol he had drank, dancing with Mark later, and then he remembered that something had upset him toward the end of the night though he never really did remember what it was.

 

Mark kissing someone else while Hoseok had gotten dragged off to play a game with some of their classmates and Hoseok catching them connected at the lips wasn't exactly something he wanted to remember anyway. Not when he had a blurry memory of Mark pressing him into the corner and kissing him breathless.

 

Seokjin did not seem very happy about this development when Hoseok had called him the next morning.

 

Hoseok did not speak to him for several days after that phone call.

 

When they did speak again, Hoseok was crying and Jin had to bite his tongue to keep from saying “I told you so”. Mark had been acting like nothing had happened at the party. He ignored Hoseok half the time in school and was busy with basketball so even when he wasn't ignoring Hoseok he was too busy to really talk. Then Mark had shown up with his arm wrapped around Hyuna's shoulders and rumor rushed around school about the two of them dating. Hoseok had left school early that day. “He's an asshole, Hobi,” Jin had said soothingly as he drove to Namjoon's place so that they could both talk to their friend on speakerphone when he got there, using the nickname that none of them could exactly remember the origin of anymore but always made Hoseok smile. It did not work that time. “You don't need him. You can do so much better than him.”

 

Hoseok had agreed. He had nodded and tearfully mumbled that Jin was right, like always, and that he missed him and couldn't wait to see him that summer. It was going to just be the three of them at the beach and Hoseok could not wait. He needed to see Jin and Namjoon again.

 

It just meant he had to wait until summer, which was so far away. But summer came rather quickly and before he knew it, it was the day that his friends were coming to get him so they could spend two weeks together. “What the fuck?” Jin said under his breath as he parked his truck outside the building that Hoseok lived in. Namjoon frowned from his spot in the passenger seat, glancing over to Jin before they climbed out of the truck. Sitting there on the front steps of the building was Hoseok and the guy Mark, who Jin recognized from the photos that Hoseok had sent in the past. Mark's arm was wrapped around Hoseok's shoulders, hugging him close to his side. Mark was pressing a kiss to Hoseok's temple, speaking something quietly against the skin there that Jin couldn't hear. “Uh, what's going on?”

 

“Jin! Mark was just coming to say good-bye to me before we left,” replied Hoseok, smiling brightly as he tightened the arm he had wrapped around Mark's waist to hug him close. “Mark this is Seokjin and Namjoon, my best friends. Guys this is Mark, my... uhm, friend.”

 

“Nice to finally meet you,” Mark said, flashing Jin a smile that made the elder realize just what Hoseok meant whenever he gushed about Mark's smile. It made Jin want to punch him in the face, though Jin restrained himself – mostly because he was confused as to what was happening when the last he had heard of Mark, Mark was still avoiding Hoseok as if he had the plague.

 

Mark walked Hoseok to the car after Namjoon announced that they really needed to leave. He held Hoseok's hand and kissed his cheek before Hoseok climbed into the backseat of the truck. It was deathly silent in the cab of the vehicle as they drove off until finally Jin said, “What the hell, Hoseok?”

 

“Look, Mark and I are... kind of together? He's so sweet, hyung, and he apologized for how he acted after the party,” Hoseok's words hung heavy in the air and he missed the look shared between his best friends in the front seats.

 

When Hoseok was sixteen and Mark was seventeen, they had sex for the first time. It wasn't awful but it wasn't great, either. Hoseok never questioned just how Mark seemed to know exactly what he was doing while he was left fumbling around trying to figure out just what to do with his hands or how to move his hips. Maybe he should have questioned just how easy it was for Mark while Hoseok had been a bundle of nerves and anxiety the entire time – and afterward, Mark just got into the shower with a kiss pressed to Hoseok's forehead. Hoseok felt funny and he was not sure why. Wasn't he supposed to be happy? Mark had said he loved him. Mark had kissed him breathless. Mark had...

 

Hoseok went home not long after, with a gentle kiss being pressed to his lips and a promise to see Hoseok in school on Monday. Hoseok would never really remember how exactly he got home after that, but he did remember that the apartment was dark when he got there, his guardian out for the night apparently. He would remember shuffling down the hallway to his room where he carefully lay down on his bed with a wince. He would remember how he ended up crying himself to sleep without really knowing why. He remembered the fact that he never did tell Jin or Namjoon about that night, or how awful he'd felt after. He never did tell Jin or Namjoon how when he got to school on Monday, he overheard Mark talking about hooking up with him to his basketball buddies and how it had been easy. He never did tell Jin or Namjoon how Mark found him a few days later and apologized, promising that he had only said it because they did not think that Mark had feelings for Hoseok and he was not ready to admit that he was in a relationship with a guy – sex was okay though, apparently.

 

He did tell Jin and Namjoon about how Mark wanted to keep hiding the fact they were dating. He said it was to protect Hoseok from being harassed by people. Hoseok wanted to believe that.

 

When Mark was eighteen and Hoseok was seventeen, Hoseok got into a dance competition, one that could lead to him earning himself a spot at BH Studios as a trainee dancer. It would allow him to work to become an official choreographer for the studio called upon by all the idols to come up with routines for their songs. Hoseok was nervous, but excited, but _nervous_. He would be one of the youngest signed to the studio if he won. There were dancers older and more experienced than him. Jin had hugged him tightly, telling him that he would do amazing, that they were proud of him already. “Please welcome, JHope!” he heard the announcer state on the stage, making him pause and hold his breath for a second before making his way out onto the stage. Under the bright lights, Hoseok could not see the crowd, but he felt a little at ease knowing the people that mattered most to him were in the audience.

 

It was not until Hoseok's routine was over, the lights had dimmed, and people were cheering for him that Hoseok saw it. 

 

Mark's chair was empty.

 

Mark could not be bothered to show up on the most important night to Hoseok. He could not bothered to sit there and watch as Hoseok poured his heart into his routine, as he was awarded fourth place but approached by the CEO of BH Studios afterward to personally offer him an additional spot in the studio. He could not be bothered to answer the phone or Hoseok's texts, to even send out a “congratulations” as Hoseok went out to celebrate with Jin and Namjoon.

 

But he could post about the party he went to. And the hot girl that had danced with him.

 

When Hoseok was seventeen and Mark was eighteen, Hoseok started training at BH Studios. When he wasn't in class, he was at the studio. He did not sleep much, not that his guardian ever realized that he never came home. He did not like spending his time in an apartment that was empty most days, filled with things that didn't belong to him. His own stuff could fill up a single corner of his bedroom. So, Hoseok danced. He danced and he practiced and he learned and he stayed up all night.

 

Until he landed wrong and found himself collapsing to the floor as a sharp, agonizing pain shot its way up his leg starting somewhere around his knee. Mark found him there on the floor of the dance studio, sobbing as he clutched his knee. He had come around to bring Hoseok some water and dinner, something he only tended to do when he wanted something but the thought was nice enough that Hoseok always forgave it tended to come at a price.

 

That night, though, that night Hoseok was rushed to the hospital. Mark stuck around the whole time, holding Hoseok's hand and running his fingers through his hair. Mark was the perfect boyfriend. To everyone in the hospital, Mark was seen as doting, so in love with his boyfriend and willing to do anything to see him smile again.

 

A few days and a surgery later, Hoseok was home. He had crutches, a knee brace, and strict orders to stay off his leg until he was healed. Mark all but moved into the apartment. He helped take care of Hoseok until he could walk again. He stayed until Hoseok was cleared to start dancing again – physical therapy demands having already been met. Mark was _there_ and Hoseok forgot how he hadn't been at the competition that night several months before.

 

Mark was nineteen and Hoseok was eighteen when they officially moved in together. Jin tried to stop it, but Hoseok would not listen. Hoseok packed up what little he had and he moved it into the apartment they were going to share. Hoseok was preparing to go to university, to study while training more at BH Studios. He had officially become a junior choreographer by that point in time, while Mark was picked up by an idol company that wanted to make him a star. Nobody supported Mark as much as Hoseok did.

 

Except maybe the boy with pretty eyes and perfect body that was training with him that Mark tended to flirt with all of the time, no matter who was around. Mark flirted with him right in front of Hoseok enough times that he sort of just grew to ignore the world when it did. It did not mean anything, anyway. Mark flirted. But he still came home to his apartment with Hoseok every night, still kissed him breathless, still touched him in all the right places until he was coming undone. What did a little flirting matter?

 

Mark was nineteen and Hoseok was eighteen when Jimin (a new trainee at BH Studios) went to get some coffee with Hoseok and they found Mark walking around hand-in-hand with some girl that Hoseok had never seen before. Mark did not even notice him, did not see the way that Hoseok's heart dropped to the ground. He did not notice as Hoseok's hands began shaking or how Jimin had to slowly talk him back from an anxiety attack that Hoseok had not even registered. That night, when Mark got home he brought Hoseok some flowers, kissed his cheek gently, and started to make dinner he never told Hoseok about the girl.

 

Hoseok decided to ignore it. It was not something that was going to happen again.

 

It wasn't. Hoseok was sure of it. He was sure of it in the way that Mark's fingers gripped his hips tightly enough to leave bruises when they finally tumbled into bed for the night. He was sure of it in the way that he left a string of kisses and bites along Hoseok's collar bone. He was sure of it in the way that Mark mumbled how much he loved him against the side of his neck. Mark loved him. Mark _loved_ him. Mark loved _him_.

 

When Hoseok was nineteen, Mark was twenty and he released his first solo album. They celebrated at a large party with bright flashing lights and cameras everywhere, Mark bragging to everyone about his boyfriend and how Hoseok was the youngest starting choreographer BH Studios had ever hired. Hoseok blushed and Mark smiled so sweetly, pressing a kiss to the back of Hoseok's hand before going to grab them something to drink. Hoseok waited, surrounded by people he didn't know that did not seem to want to talk to him if Mark wasn't on his arm.

 

He waited.

 

 

 

And he waited.

 

 

 

 

And the party ended.

 

Mark didn't come back.

 

Hoseok called Jin to come get him. “Please don't ask me what happened,” Hoseok had mumbled as he crawled into the backseat of Jin's truck, making himself small as he lay down and closed his eyes, squeezing them shut tightly to try to ignore the way that his eyes burned.

 

Mark never came home that night.

 

When he did, he kissed Hoseok deeply and apologized for being away so long. “There was a party,” he said, smoothing his hands along Hoseok's sides before resting them on his hips. “I couldn't say 'no'. I missed you.” Mark pulled Hoseok closer, and Hoseok forgave him.

 

When Hoseok was twenty and Mark was twenty-one, Hoseok stayed with Jin and Namjoon while Mark was out touring. “He's never even told you he loves you,” Jin pointed out as they stood in the kitchen making dinner.

 

Hoseok had laughed because that was ridiculous. Of course he had. Mark said he loved him all the time. Over the next few days, though, Hoseok slowly came to the realization that Jin was right. Me too. And me you. Yeah, I know. I love _this_. I love your hands. I love your ass. I love watching you dance. I love those jeans on you. _I love when you_... But never the words _I love you_.

 

Hoseok called Mark that night, after Jin had gone to bed, after Namjoon had gone home. He called and almost worried that Mark was going to answer, but he did. He answered and Hoseok sighed inaudibly in relief. “Babe, you called!” Mark had said, sounding very excited to hear from Hoseok. “What's up?”

 

“Nothing. I miss you,” he replied, frowning a little because he did. He missed Mark so much it ached. His chest hurt and it felt like he couldn't breathe.

 

Never mind the fact that sometimes it was like that when Mark was home, too.

 

“Me too, babe.”

 

Hoseok smiled smally, but started talking. He told Mark about the new video he was posting on YouTube, on how he was verified on Twitter now, on how Jimin was getting better all the time and the two of them were being considered the most powerful dancing duo in the industry. He told Mark about staying with Jin and how Namjoon had joined them for dinner but had almost burnt his hand on the stove because he had been distracted by Jin.

 

“That's great, babe,” Mark said, quickly speaking when Hoseok seemed to pause for a second. “But I've got to go. The guys and I are going out for drinks. I'll talk to you later.”

 

“Okay, bye. I lov--” Hoseok winced as the call ended and all he could hear was the noises of the apartment around him.

 

Hoseok was twenty and Mark was twenty-one when Mark came stumbling into the apartment after returning from the small tour he had done. Hoseok was _tired_. He was tired and he was sore and he just wanted to sleep. It was too hot in the apartment and he felt absolutely disgusting. But Mark kept kissing his neck, his jaw, his lips, mumbling sweet words and asking repeatedly. “Fine, but you have to do everything,” Hoseok finally relented, sighing heavily as he did so. It was hot and Hoseok was uncomfortable and he couldn't stop the awful knot from twisting in his stomach as he let Mark move him around to how he was wanted. Hoseok just wanted to sleep and Mark wanted to touch and when Mark finally stopped, spent and tired and dozing off on the part of the sheets that weren't disgusting, Hoseok felt like being sick. He closed his eyes and breathed shakily through his nose before getting up and getting into the shower. The water was ice cold and nearly felt like it was burning his skin – but he no longer felt sticky and gross, and when he got out of the shower, he pulled on some clothes before crawling onto the couch and falling asleep.

 

The next morning, Hoseok woke up to Mark making them breakfast in the kitchen. He was all soft touches and gentle words. He stayed home and cuddled with Hoseok on the couch, watching some of their favorite movies. Hoseok smiled against the side of his neck, ignoring the way he still felt a little unsteady, a little disoriented. Mark was there next to him, treating him like he was special and important, acting like the Mark that Hoseok had fallen for in the first place. “I love you,” he said as the sun was setting and Mark's fingers were tracing idle patterns along his arm. Mark smiled so softly and warm, full of fondness before leaning in to kiss Hoseok gently.

 

He never said it back.

 

When Hoseok was twenty-one and Mark was twenty-two, they were nominated to be the cutest couple. Their relationship wasn't a secret, it had been something that was flashed about and printed into magazines and posted onto websites. Mark was doted upon by his fans for being so open and honest and how much he adored his boyfriend. Mark was the picture perfect boyfriend on print, in pictures, on camera. Mark would stop by BH Studios to bring Hoseok extra water and something to eat, to spend time with him on his break; but, he would always use the front door and make sure he was seen.

 

Jin noticed how his friend was used more like a tool than an actual partner, and Hoseok refused to see it. They had been together for six years. There was no way Mark didn't love him, there was no one else that could love him. Hoseok knew it. He was too loud, too whiny, too needy, too energetic, too, too, _too_...

 

Mark made sure to tell him all the time.

 

But Mark loved him anyway.

 

Mark was the one who was sometimes there when Hoseok got to their apartment. Mark was the one who cuddled with him on the couch. It was Mark who bought him his favorite flowers on Valentine's Day and couples' bracelets – though Mark's had since gone missing. (Hoseok pretended like he didn't find it in the dresser shoved between a couple of Mark's shirts. He was sure Mark had his reasons, okay. He still had the bracelet after all.) It was Mark who would cook dinner with him when they both happened to be home, though it was such a rare thing. It was Mark that kissed him so completely and thoroughly he could barely breathe let alone think about anything other than Mark. It was Hoseok's weakness and Mark knew it, he thoroughly used it to his advantage. He knew just how to kiss Hoseok to stop him from thinking, wondering, feeling, hoping, dreaming. He knew just which places to dig his fingers, to press and pull and push and touch until Hoseok was not thinking about anything other than him.

 

Mark played him over and over and acted for the camera and disappeared for a few days at a time and came back with hickies that Hoseok definitely had not put there and, and, and...

 

It was late. Hoseok was twenty-one, Mark was twenty-two. There were suitcases and boxes and bags. Things haphazardly being shoved into them, other items being left where they were – discarded, uncared for, unneeded. Mark stood there, putting the last of his clothes into the last suitcase. Hoseok stood there, staring blankly at the whole scene as he heard some weird rushing sound and he felt as though the world was about to slide out from underneath his feet. “What's going on?” Hoseok's voice was small, shaking and broken – not unlike it had been all those years ago when he had told Mark he could kiss him.

 

Mark sighed heavily, frowning with a furrowed brow as he looked over at Hoseok. “I'm leaving.” It was final. It wasn't a question, a possibility, a chance. There had been a decision made. “The company wants me to go over to the States, work with some artists out there, expand. So, I'm going.”

 

“Oh...” Hoseok nodded slowly, crossing his arms over his chest. “That's... I mean, that's great Mark. For you.”

 

“Yeah.” Mark nodded, zipping up the suitcase. The sound made Hoseok want to flinch. It was loud and almost made his head hurt. “Hoseok...”

 

“You're breaking up with me.” Hoseok laughed a little, though he was not sure why. There was nothing funny about the situation. He felt as though he was falling, reaching out to grab onto something but unable to grasp anything of use.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Hoseok laughed again. Six years. He had been with Mark for six years. Six years of fighting and arguing, of making up and relearning one another's bodies. There were six years of memories, good and bad and in-between. Six years of his life spent on Mark, on the mess that was their relationship – it was chaotic and dirty and broken. Hoseok knew it, he knew what he had with Mark wasn't healthy, it wasn't good for him.

 

He didn't care. It was all he wanted. Mark was all he wanted. “Don't.”

 

Mark just sighed as he walked over to Hoseok, taking the younger's face in both of his hands. Mark's thumbs brushed against Hoseok's cheeks and Hoseok almost jerked away. But he didn't, he stayed. It was Mark, of course he stayed. Then Mark was leaning forward and kissing him. There was no chance to breathe, to think, there was nothing but Mark and his lips and his tongue and...

 

Mark stepped away from Hoseok, letting him go. Hoseok almost lost his balance. “Movers will be by for my things in the morning.”

 

Hoseok was twenty-one, and Mark was twenty-two when Hoseok watched the front door of their – of _his_ apartment shut after Mark walked out of it.

 

Mark never answered Hoseok's calls or texts.

 

He never showed up to any of Hoseok's important events.

 

He wasn't there. He wasn't there. He wasn't there.

 

Until he was. If only for a night or a couple of hours. A mistake. A quick and easy hook up, because Mark knew, he _knew_ all he had to do was show up and smile and Hoseok would go weak at the knees and do anything he wanted.

 

When Hoseok was twenty-three, and Mark was twenty-four there was a knock on Hoseok's apartment door. Hoseok opened it and froze. Mark stood there with that same smile that he'd always had before. But Hoseok just sighed. He shut the door in Mark's face for the first time, locking it before calling up Jin who came rushing over at two in the morning as soon as he had finished with the training session he hadn't been able to leave.

 

When Hoseok was twenty-four and Mark was twenty-five, Hoseok nervously wrung his hands in front of him as he stood outside a studio door with the name AGUST D printed on it. There was a passcode lock on the wall and from what Jungkook told him, nobody knew it except his brother and the CEO of the company. Hoseok let out a heavy breath and knocked on the door. A couple of moments later, it opened and Hoseok found himself face-to-face with Agust D, with _Min Yoongi_. Yoongi smiled and Hoseok's heart did this weird stuttering thing in his chest. “Hoseok,” he greeted before moving aside to let him into the studio.

 

They had been chatting through text for a couple of days since Jungkook had given Yoongi Hoseok's number, but it was the first time they were meeting in person.

 

Hoseok was twenty-four and Yoongi was twenty-five, and Hoseok stayed in Yoongi's studio until three in the morning, talking and laughing with him about anything and everything.

 

Hoseok was no good at love. He had dated some since Mark left, but none of it ever went well. He somehow only seemed to draw in losers or guys who only wanted him for the same reasons Mark did. It was still too soon to tell, but Hoseok could not help himself from wondering if maybe this time he would be able to get it right.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me [on tumblr](https://seoksyubae.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
